I would like to share my thoughts and emotions largely based on my recent decision to jump into the YouTube fire or cauldron. I was unsure whether or not I could do it, would do it; if I had the capacity or general skills and personality to do it. And how it would transpire into my feelings and thoughts.
Last night I had some certain dealings with a certain person. The video I made on nutrition or weight loss triggered a response from them. I initially thought the response was unfair and based on the poor attitude they reflected from themselves. I will not go into detail too deeply. It was on a social media site I rarely use and I was almost expecting to draw some heat.
The main thing is, after some lack of consideration, I allowed myself to blow up and lower myself to an energy level I am trying hard to learn to disengage myself from. I allowed the old me to hurl some serious old me anger back at the person. This prompted a feeling of thoughts and emotions after the fact.
I was listening to a Dr. Wayne W. Dyer audio late last night, as I usually do in the hour before bed. His voice I trust now always has this calming effect. No matter what the day has held, whether it was a day of pure flow a day of slight challenges, or whatever - I hear him speak and it has this calming soothing influence - it triggers an introspection every single time.
The audio series has eight CDs so I am never trapped by one set of principles or ideals to ponder.
I began to listen to him on his principle of ego and how he said something along the lines of True Nobility is not defined in essence by wanting or feeling you are better than anyone else, or in competition with anyone else - that you have done something better than someone else - it is defined by a simple premise of learning to simply believe this - I am simply BETTER THAN THE PERSON I ONCE WAS.
I am in the process as everyone else is - of learning, of growing and constantly trying to push myself toward that goal of :
Becoming the best person, to myself - I can possibly be.
Not for reasons of status or the reason to be liked or loved. I do not care for the acceptance of anyone else but myself. I do not require the validation of others to make me feel whole. I must learn to dismiss all ego and the desire to promote what I have done in the past; in a way or manner that makes others feel like I am saying - I am better. I am best. You tried. You failed. You did not try hard enough. I am not doing it for reasons to gain any form of recognition that is only to cradle my own ego. I must keep learning to try and stay on the outer edges of obscurity, to dilute ego.
Let go of the look at me, oh should I have done that video when I had a huge pimple on my forehead? What will others think of my odd deep strange Aussie accent mixed with Dutch tone... and a low vibrational Leonard Cohen monotonous speaking voice drone - and my rocking around in motion on my computer chair as I spoke... the way I pronounced Dyer as DYWER all this mindless negative monkey chatter.
The old me surfaced and whispered gently many many times. The thought of my first thumbs down on a YouTube Video from someone - who could it have been and why would they thumbs down a video that promoted healthy fitness food?
I really had to look within myself and ask - why am I feeling this? Why am I feeling these emotions? Just like Gregg Braden says you need to address this as Hmmmmm. I feel this, everyone feels it, how can I use this to assess a better path forward? You can never avoid all negative thought - it is simply impossible, even Louise L. Hay guides her negative thoughts like stray sheep gently back into the paddock of positive thought. We have the brain that is programmed from the instinct of worry - it comes from from the days we required it - will that killer animal eat me when me, myself Mr Caveman tries to gather a feed for the dark ages family? Would the tribe be upset if I clubbed Mr Caveman sitting opposite me to death across the fire? He wrote over my caveman drawing this morning - and it was a work of art - my graffiti should never be gone over by anyone. Sadly an indictment of our modern society the intense pace and stress causes most of us to be consumed by excessive caveman worry - but into things the caveman had no real purpose of learning from. The negative things we consume ourselves with in present society; we source and embrace, are to our pure detriment. It has left many carcasses of people who did not cope to lie regretfully behind us. I know I have been to some funerals I know needed not happen.
I applied the principle that Dyer tries to encourage most effectively to that person I abused. I began to rather Not think of them with disdain or negative resentment - I actually blessed them - they allowed this whole thought process to be triggered. I thanked them within myself. They said some things from a perspective I needed to hear. Some truths came out that I was denying. I felt Gratitude. I truly took the views and applied it as wisdom, You can never allow yourself to fully shut off from all opinions of others when sometimes those opinions must be looked at from a different angle.
I needed to source a video from the inspirational friend that made me jump into that fire - so this is her video that I clicked upon and I must share it - the theme relates boldly to some of my thoughts and my actions forward. And you know now how much I love and adore my music so I will include a well known song for you all at the bottom of my blog - enjoy and it has elements I am drawn to, in times of need the album it comes from is a worthy source of positive energy. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars from the album Eyes Open - in my thoughts eyes open - heart open!
I AM WORTHY -
I AM ON THE PATH TO A BETTER ME -
I AM OPEN TO LEARNING AND ACCEPTING ALL I FEEL
I AM INTENT ON LOVE AND LIGHT.
Thankyou for reading, and you WILL SEE ME AGAIN ON YOUTUBE SOON.
love and light
Namaste.
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