The Pursuit for Truth (Drive Your Essence)

What do we want in life? Who do we turn to for guidance on the path ahead?
This theme has triggered some serious thoughts and energy in me the last week or so.
I was replying and seeking some answers to some serious questions during the last week, by looking up certain YouTube spiritual teachers or self-actualization leaders, and trying to interact with some like-minded people online.

There was one person who gave me enormous hope, but no response, no answer. No reply. She was Not the person I use as the video reference in this blog below. I started having many thoughts jump at me, much like they used to, in the days of not knowing life. So I started to assess these emotions, and looked into her wisdom, without placing any emphasis on why or where my thoughts led me.
Like Gregg Braden says when you feel things like this, stop and ask yourself, why am I feeling this? What does this tell me?

I will not go into further detail, except to say it was more than a lack of reply. It was deeper than that in regard to communication. I began to ever so gently doubt myself. Was it something within Me? Was I not putting enough light out; or was my light corrupted? All kinds of stupid things I let go of thinking in recent times. It is not that we should expect anyone to acknowledge us in any way, people are Never predictable, and the most important lesson in life - is to accept you can never control or expect anyone to react to you in any enforced way Good or Bad. You do not need the acceptance of anyone else in life. You have yourself. You love yourself so much, with such power, that the other people around you - or as shown in the video I will share - need not affect your path. You learn to fill from your own cup and not need others to pour anything else in.

Despite the filling of my own cup I felt like the only true accompaniment in my journey was a shadow, One great thing I did learn was to embrace some spiritual people locally. I went through a major incident this week. Something happened that has some implications if it transpires in the next few months. This did not help the above thought and emotional process at all, It in fact just added to it. I learned that piece of advice above from the female, so I will take her blessing of knowledge in my heart - gratitude.

I consulted a spiritual place I have been to recently, again. I did a heart meditation for the second time, communally with people that I needed energy and light from. It was great. I will embrace the friendship and the power of wisdom gained... and I love meeting like-minded people, particularly locally.

Yesterday I was drawn to the path of two new people online. A wonderful male from Norway. He is such a shining light. I will include one of his videos below as well. And the female in the video I will share. I will share my thoughts on how this triggered some new energy. Some new wisdom, a new light.

The female her name, as many of you no doubt are already well aware of her name and perhaps the "reputation" that seems to cast a shadow is Teal Swan. Or also known as Teal Scott.
I watched some of her videos, and it really threw some pleasing mind energy my way.
Not only in the visual aspect, being a typical man or male I must always try and remain focused when it comes to beauty! But she really drove some thoughts in my mind all morning yesterday.
I need not discuss anything about her so called "reputation", except to say the challenges you face in the past - and people seem to love casting their strong personal views out of fear onto others, in a sense to cast doubts or reinforce standards in life that should never be considered by an open mind.

I needed some answers this week.
This video by Teal pretty much is a general summary and reflection of all I need to say. Please consider sticking with it past the initial few minutes, you might be tempted to quit the video but hang in there, for those of you who need answers in life I am sure you might benefit.

And may I introduce a man by the name of Chris Lie, this person really also gave me light yesterday. I needed to embrace the wisdom from another male - I have been so drawn to so many females in the spiritual circles it feels remarkable to have a male to source light and knowledge from! Like my good friend Dr. Gillian Ross says the universe unfolds as it should, and I believe the people that you need are drawn into your life,
Enjoy his video and his light! And since you all know how much I love my music - the song that has been my driving spiritual theme song during my joyful time of opening my mind - Placebo - Hold Onto Me - stick around for the spoken word dialogue that Brian Molko expresses toward the end... unseen and unheard of in modern music! (just after the 3:15 ms mark)

and lastly to Teal, you are such a force of positive light it is almost unbearably powerful; beyond the concepts of what most allow to reinforce growth restraint. The limitations held by science, educational institutions dictatorial teachers of religion or spiritual bullies. The inadequacy of not accepting things are happening in this universe beyond the realms of what most choose to see. The manner in which you project your skills to try and shine your light is truly a gift of beauty and love.
Gratitude.  

Motivation - Driven to Succeed Mind Over Body!

I had some powerful thoughts recently on Motivation. I was reading a book about our Aussie Champ Sally Pearson, and I feel that Motivation is a huge driving force within all of us.
It can be for whatever pursuit we attain it to, sports, career, athlete success, business, relationships... the desire to just make something come full circle starts with a goal, or an idea. A vision, an inspiration... a dream perhaps.

Some of us are Not motivated. We are not particularly driven to do anything substantial. Perhaps reasons for this are varying, it can be the place we are at right now in life. What I want to talk about is what drives a person to follow through, and what sustains momentum? What essence keeps motivation strong? I will not go into excess detail I tend to ramble too much in my blog posts, so I will try to keep this short. Two main principles I have discovered for me personally have been:

Discovering your Passion. I love this T.D. Jakes quote:

I believe all the primary success masters have adopted this simple mindset of - if you do Not enjoy what you do, that can be your career or job, or chosen interest/pursuit you will not succeed. Find or discover your True passion and it will be your true purpose.
That is a first guiding principle I found worked for me, and opened up paths and realms of possibilities.

Principle One: Purpose and Passion - or Love.

Loving the passion, and getting such a high level of enjoyment from it, you are forced to always do it. How many things do we honestly maintain for a long period of time we dislike?
If you paint or like writing Poetry, but you only get a low or moderate level of joy, perhaps look into something that draws your creative energy stronger - into feelings... not short term emotional reward; but something that feeds you the feelings of happiness and pleasure.
If you embrace exercise and fitness but do not like certain activities, change the exercise to something you do enjoy, or change the mindset approach.
If you do not like working at McDonalds, get the hell out of there and push yourself forward.
If you are in retail, but dream of something big - but a family member or some fear holds you back from trying to think about something else - think big, shoot the fear down. Perhaps you are from a family that expects you to accomplish something according to what they believe. What they believe is right for you - You might be expected to be a Lawyer, and frowned upon for expressing a desire to follow a different path - ignore them - this is Your Life - Not Theirs. If you allow yourself to live under the control and expectations of others, allow yourself to be dictated to by the opinions; good or bad, of others - if you listen to the Naysayers - you will be doomed. This leads me into the next principle because you are held back by the above by a strong force:

Second principle - Fear and the required Dissolution.

Fear is the number one enemy. It prevents most of us from everything.
It comes from the mind - but you can slay it. You can learn to beat it.
Most people have fears of failure - what if I try and fail?
What will my friends and family think?
What will I think of myself?
Failure will come - to everyone - but learn to embrace rather than hide and avoid it.
Each little obstacle is just another hurdle you can jump and you must keep hold of hope, you and focus. You never know, the path might be clear for the next 100 metres until the finish line. If you think, that hurdle was too hard... there are twenty more ahead - I might hit the next one with my knees, and fall down. I will lose. I do not have the energy or strength left in me to reach it. It's too hard. You will not get to that finish line in life. The Motivation has been lost. It escaped you. The bad aspect of your mind won - it beat you down like a champion boxer, it gave you a KO, but the sad thing is - it was Not better than you - it was not a champion that beat you - it was a shadow. It was something within yourself you allowed to break you down, largely in part from your own negative thinking.

I was listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival the song below at 4am this Sunday Morning during fasted Steady State Cardio - ... Run Through The Jungle.
It got me onto the thoughts of how war time and extreme life challenges force motivation. I need not discuss or raise opinions about war and killing - what I want to emphasise is the mindset in order to survive and endure hardship - in order to stay motivated.
I heard recently that a person who was in the Jewish filled death camps observed the people around him, he wrote or noted that the people who gave up, had no motivation to survive, usually met this fate. The people that had some drive within, the fighters that embraced a mindset of - I want to get out of here, and tell the world what horror took place - I will Not allow myself to die in this shit-hole. These people cannot beat me. I want to tell my future children and grand-children of the atrocity - so this never happens again... these people had something worth living for - a sheer drive to continue. The motivation needed in order to last... of course not all of them did survive; but the majority of the stronger minded people walked out to share the tale. The people who said this is it. I give up... generally one would be led to believe, endured a tougher time and relented first mentally.

Mental strength is paramount. The Mind is more powerful than the body. You need to learn that success is based on how you think, and what you think - what you create in your mind - how you visualise your goals - and how you sustain the motivation needed.

I will include a great video interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger on this topic. Place your attention on the mind aspect he discusses, and the people who speak to him of the desire. The people that crave on hunger and feed from it, as opposed to those who do not.

Nourish your motivation with passion - feed it heaps of calories, fatten it up everyday - make it obese in fact. Fuel the mind, Research. Read. Watch. Listen. Learn. Be inspired. Create. Share ...Grow.
and RUN THROUGH THAT JUNGLE OF FEAR - beat the odds and come out the other side Victorious.
There will be times you will doubt, you may want to entertain quitting. Think about the reasons you are doing it - perhaps the soldiers in this clip thought about that loving wife back home, the family they intended to reunite with. Think about why are you doing this? Focus - and continue the march.

Like I always say Improve the Body the MIND follows!

If you have any questions I am happy to answer and help when I can, I am Not motivated by money or a desire to profit from my positive encouragement. I do not have a website that wants you to outlay large sums of money in order for me to feel whole. This blog is public and not advertised it is free and basic. I have been ignored by many of the highest profile fitness and health industry bloggers. I do not care, I will continue to enjoy what I love doing. Character is everything - arrogance and ego are ugly. I just try and promote my social media interests to feeding my own goals - the gratitude I receive from others telling me - they can learn from this. What I have faced and the challenges I can share - how I have learned from them. What I can show to others;  a light that remains behind a closed door. If you want to open it up, look into changing things - start with an idea, a dream, a vision. Build on it. Look into mental fitness such as meditation and nutrition for the physical, get yourself active and help your body learn to love you back. Then things start to happen, things can open up. You can gain confidence. I was watching the Biggest Loser this time last year, and when the Trainers spoke of the concept - Let go of the Past - In order to move forward - I was thinking at that point in time ... How??? Is it possible??? I Wish I could. Please explain how this is possible?

Now I understand. Now I get it. You grow, the strength comes from the manner in which you learn and adapt and apply. With growth comes mass - you get bigger, mentally and physically. Stronger in mind and body. I am not talking about bodybuilder mass I am talking strength of heart, mind and body in terms of gaining true Power. The strength to start to view the world differently. 

If you want a truly great tip; if like myself - you faced some severe mental challenges and issues in the past the book called "Your Erroneous Zones" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer may just be the blueprint you will need to get started. If you have faced challenges you cannot let go of, or just think the past cannot possibly be forgotten - consider investing in it - if there was one book I needed to read - if the world ended, and I was forced to hold one book for the rest of my days - and if the world was troubled - that book would be my gift to myself. If I can share this gift with one person and it changes their life, my work is done.

like Dr. Wayne W. Dyer says:

if you change the way you look at things, 
the things you look at will change.

Comfortably Numb - The Desire to Escape a Linear Life

We face challenges, nobody has immunity from this. I love how Greg Plitt said we must crawl or walk through the mud, in order to reach the higher ground in life. Some of us stay stuck in the mud, we maintain a futile insistence largely driven by fear, that the endeavour to escape is either too hard, or others have failed. The failure of others to overcome strengthens our belief that the mud is best to remain covered in, at least for the time being. Perhaps oneday we might consider climbing out. But for now, we embrace the comfort it gives us, the zone of which familiarity keeps us idle.

When I was 14 things happened to change my life, To me it was a downward spiral into the mud. I learned to cover myself in it. Things happened much more powerful and intense in effect than the event I speak of below at age 16. Nonetheless I learned to saviour the taste for many years like some forbidden fruit. I wanted to discard the fruit and my desire to taste it, but I kept hold of the memory for my innermost protection - the comfort zone again. Like a crutches analogy, I used the broken bones or injury but kept using the crutches for years after the pain and injury had healed. I was wounded. The original injury never fully healed, I still suffered new events, caused in large part by the infinite ache of the initial wound.

Reflection now is most peaceful. I can look back on this part of my life as the best Teacher I ever had. Perhaps this teacher was in essence like the book I am currently reading by Dr. Gillian Ross titled Psyche's Yearning; Gillian describes PSYCHE AND EROS.

The story is phenomenal I urge you to look it up, if you are unaware of it.

A part of me was EROS, I do not deny my feminine love and spirit within me. Yes I am a male but the path some men choose to follow is to remain steadfast in their male traits. If I want to think about hostility and the cave-man desire to beat my chest, to pronounce I am physical strength over mind. I choose to remain unable or unwilling to separate the denial of compassion or feelings/emotions. Not all men do, I know, but many perceive the manner in which all men need to behave and act; much to the detriment of the male consciousness and actions.

I think of the wars and violence created from ego, the need to be better than others. The seemingly innate precision design of men's minds that dictates how we must always prove we are strong. We need to be the hunter-gatherer in mindset, we are the supreme source of talent, but we misplace it or abuse it by losing character. We are strong, but we are weaker in other aspects that matter more.

I feel a slight sadness for the many females who are trapped by men of such limitations. And the men who believe it is primarily the fault of the female, not the above self ignorance, that is the sole blame.

I endured this misguidance from the day I started to grow into a man, from the time of knowing I was a boy I dealt with other boys who early on - dictated forcefully the actions of this imbalance.

I recall one of my best friends in Primary school was indigenous, or of Aboriginal heritage. Or Black - whatever you would choose to label him perhaps. We loved the same music and got on like true mates. One-day the above male single-minded caveman instinct came to the forefront at school, when the boys for unknown reasons, chose to gather like a pack and hunt down my friend with hatred. They threw insults at him, started feeding off the negative energy of each other, until it was growing into unimaginable torment for my friend. What could I do? I found myself disliking it, the leader of the almost Tsavo Lion pride was, what you might term in America as "the Jock." The fit supreme athlete type that was showered with accolades, and earned a higher respect than the rest of us.

Everyone was fearful of him, due in part to the respect in a sense. I walked up and forcefully pushed him against the wall, grabbed his shirt so hard it ripped it. I put my fist up to his chin and demanded the Rot needed to STOP. The rest of the boys stepped back, in shock, I had never behaved this way before. I was the lamb, I was the perfect animal they always used to chase down. How could the lamb stand up and face a lion? Well love conquers hate. 

I will tell you more about that story, that Jock may have had supreme talent and skill, but he died at age 16 on a motorbike - going like a bat out of hell lost control and was killed instantly. I feel immense sadness he would have made the Australian Football League and been a successful highly skilled footballer. He lost his chance. R.I.P. Mate I shared many good times and memories with you - like the time you threw my footy boots into the basement darkness to scare me into going there. The times you acted so eccentric and wanted to release your inhibition you let off fireworks in your hallway when your mother was out ... before football training. Funny, loving reflections.
The other kid, the person I respected and loved, do you know what became of him? The origin of my story was around 27 years ago.

I will elaborate - years later about five to be precise, I was at High School. I was that lamb again. The other boys used to love to try and slaughter me at every chance. I was walking through the yard with a few weeks left until graduation. This bully came up, I had witnessed his antics numerous times on others. He stated simply "This is my territory." 

I smiled and replied (censored) "Suck my D...".

He tried to get me involved in an altercation, as I turned around to look at what I sensed was trouble, the entire school had already gathered in communal presence to observe. The gladiator arena had been suddenly built in the middle of the school for all to enjoy and embrace the mindless violence.

As I did this, another "warrior" grabbed me and pinned my arms held me down, hoping for the other "warriors" to gain the advantage of the battle. They did. I was kicked in the eye, so forcefully it caused bleeding in the eye that required later medical examination... it took months to heal and like crutches i used sunglasses to help comfort my injury. A large motivation was to hide the embarrassment because my ego gave a concern for what other people thought of me.

I came home from that experience just like a Bond Martini I was Shaken, not stirred. Well to be brutally honest I was stirred beyond belief. I was emotional. I was hurt emotionally, more than physically. I was in my bedroom alone dealing with the pain. My best friend at the time Adam, that morning had loaned me the album Automatic For The People by R.E.M. - it was a new release.

I put it on, with the intent it may just distract me.

Cue the song below, about track 4, this song came on, I had never in my life heard it before. It gets the best of people emotional - I cried. I cried and I cried. 

A knock at the door, I tried to get the macho man strength back, I could hear my Mother talking to a visitor. I tried to dry my eyes and face AND BE A REAL MAN. The Cure - what a band I loved at that time - BOYS DON'T CRY.

Guess who it was????

Just try and GUESS.

You remember the friend I related in the story above?

He had come to check I WAS OKAY. (Not the dead friend - Yes I may adopt some spiritual themes, but that pushes me too far into my former insanity themes.)

Reverse Gratitude, years later.

Getting back to the intent of my story and this blog, we walk through the mud. We do not need to allow it to forever be on our skin, in our hearts, and to hold back our minds.

To let go, is to let go of the things that prevent us from marching forward.

We can reach higher ground. We need not keep those crutches for longer than necessary. We need not be afraid of jumping from the mud pit and thinking life can be different. We need not fear change. We can build the life we want from dismissing the need to rely on excuses.

Birth - rebirth. The ability to die while we are alive in order to break free, and start to live without a cage, without restraint.

We have purpose, we have passion, we need to find what we love, embrace it. We need to understand that from pain can come the champion spirit to try and succeed.

You will fail, you will fall down, the question is, will you land on your back, facing upwards, so you can stand back up and punch your fist of determination at the shadows of the person you used to be? Or do you choose to lie face down and submit to defeat? Do you feel comfort in the sense of being able to take a breather and rest for a while? You might get back up when you choose, if you choose.
Or you can stand up like a fighter and prepare to take on the next round, with a view to victory.

You can build on the fact you are no better than anyone else. People may hate on you and think you have ego, or you are saying you are better than them. Inside it matters not. Inside is the heart you embrace and the passion that drives you forward. You can use the hatred or misguided opinions of others to; rather than stall your engine - to add to the intensity of the fuel.

Burn that shit up, take it out at the gym or whatever you use as your creative release. Stand tall, stand like you mean it. Do not cower to yourself to anyone else. The lamb can face the lion. The lamb can be remembered as superior - when the lamb helped and the lion simply devoured with the only intent for self-gain. To feed himself, ahead of the pride. To nourish himself. To reward himself at the expense of the others, including family and the entire tribe.

I have become what I tried to seek in my teenage years through experimentation - Comfortably Numb.

I always wanted the ability to have thick skin, to numb myself from what others thought and said about me. How I was perceived by anyone and everyone. I was a puppet pulled by my strings of conformity; to act like the rest... Not be unique. To be someone that just went through life without ever proving anything of value. Someone that never did anything. Someone in essence, who did not matter. A waste. Just a passenger on a train you glance at from your stranger's perspective - you may ponder me, my life, and never remember or think of me again.

I have gained the ultimate sense of comfortable numbness now in mind and body. I am stronger than I used to be. I am happy. I am me. I am a true divine source of love to myself, and I love to project that love from my heart to others. I might also add a reflection on that early school - a female teacher for reasons unknown to common sense, pondered and raised the question to the class, who is the best looking male here? The general consensus was in favour of the Jock. He had everything. Except to me, a brain. The teacher cast her eyes at me and said Oh but Colin is pretty attractive, he is quite cute, quite beautiful for a boy - BUT HE HAS NO BRAINS TO MATCH IT.
I add this out of no resentment or bitterness but to add another aspect - you are told things in the years of growth that help turn you into an adult, the things that shape and mould you. They truly define who you become your strength your desires your beliefs. If you are told things like - you will never be anything, you will never be successful, you are stupid, you are dumb, you will never be smart enough to finish university - you will never become a champion athlete - you are not as great as the person they believe is the best - you have weaknesses - you have attributes of failure, you will end up with a career shovelling fish guts at the wharf, I will add something and please forgive me for using this language - F**KING DISMISS THAT $HIT. 

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this mental journey, I took a seat on a train I once had a short trip - just to show others what that journey was like, and where the destination may lie. You can choose where your train heads, you cannot change where it came from, the people it picked up, the passengers good and bad along the way. The people who got off at certain stops. The people who smoked in your face when you tried to quit. The people who cast glances and made judgements who did not even know you. The people who told you to act in accordance with their beliefs. The passengers perhaps the female who smiled ever so lovingly and you both got talking. You formed a relationship you fell in love -it died- she got off. You felt sad. You kept on the train. You remembered her for the next hundred stops ahead or thousand. You hoped to see her step back on, She never did. The times you needed your earphones in to numb the emotions, the worrying. The anxiety that crippled you. Anything to dilute the fear you felt. The pain you tried to silence, but it always spoke in whispers. At times it shouted so loudly it made you deaf for long periods of time. But it was a constant companion you did not want always sitting beside you. You wanted it to leave but it kept talking and talking. It never stopped. The passenger known as a lack of self-confidence that prompted the teachers at every school to always keep making me attend classes on how to build self-esteem. Then the decision came. Something triggered an idea. A vision or a Dream of a new destination. A vision to reach and aim for place you thought was never possible to be granted a visa or passport.

HAPPINESS AND SATISFACTION are at this place. Love spends every minute here. Gratitude is a constant visitor that pops their head in the door and whispers, smiles and beams at me, each and every day. Awareness and flow, Synchronicity. Creative abundance, wisdom, balance. The manifestation of all I desire and work toward. I will list the text on an album of paramount importance to my early 14 years of age pain and turmoil - the inside cover of MCMXC a.D by ENIGMA quotes:

THE PATH OF EXCESS LEADS TO THE TOWER OF WISDOM - W. BLAKE.

THE PLEASURE OF SATISFYING A SAVAGE INSTINCT, UNDOMESTICATED BY THE EGO, IS UNCOMPARABLY MUCH MORE INTENSE THAN THE ONE OF SATISFYING A TAMED INSTINCT. THE REASON IS BECOMING THE ENEMY THAT PREVENTS US FROM A LOT OF POSSIBILITIES OF PLEASURE - S. Freud - IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE LIGHT, IT'S BECAUSE OF OBSCURITY, IF YOU BELIEVE IN HAPPINESS IT'S BECAUSE OF UNHAPPINESS, IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD THEN YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN THE DEVIL. -father x - exorcist church of notre dame, paris.

Please take No religious perspective on that last one - I am simply relating in my blog to how if you believe in something one way you are forced into simple mainstream linear thinking.

Enjoy the two songs below, the first is Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

The second is the magic of the song that made my river flow. R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts. I will add that years later I learned that the drummer Bill Berry wrote a majority of the lyrics with large input from the rest of the band. Michael Stipe I think once said this song he desired the intention of it: to help kids through school who had endured hell. To help prevent that kid from perhaps slashing his or her wrists. To encourage them the act of throwing their hand and giving up was not the solution.

That river that flowed from listening to the song was something fraught with pain, I never wanted to swim in it, but now I can reflect on the act of cleansing it encouraged. 

Bless you all and Namaste.

To Judge or Not to Judge? THAT is the Question!

Just wanted to share some thoughts this morning, free style. On that note, I saw a beat boxer in the city last week, doing his thing. He no doubt draws some interesting thoughts and makes certain impressions on the people walking past - But you know what? He is loving his Passion - he has love and a skill so leave him be. If you judge anyone for something they love to do, it is not a reflection on the foolishness of what they do; but a mirrored reflection of the person you are. You are projecting things within yourself and creating a judgement from You - Not from their behaviour. If you need to forgive someone in life - you must have judged in order to want it.

On this note, Wayne W. Dyer and Louise L. Hay speak of forgiveness, my dear Mother when I discussed the concept - her first blurted question was I CANNOT FORGIVE anyone who has hurt me AND ALLOW THEM BACK INTO MY LIFE!!!
No worries - You are actually better off without them in your life - they are a negative energy but what you need to address is to forgive them in your heart and mind, and let go of the pain. Holding onto that pain, is like Wayne describes as the snake bite - You can say Yes the snake bit me, I recognise this, but I will not allow the venom to slowly eat away at me and poison me until death.
I know from experience, hell we ALL DO, just how toxic and unbearable that venom can be.

Think of the ex-partner you turned against, the friend who shafted you, the co-worker who spreads lies or gossips about you - the friend who talks shit behind your back - and smiles with the grace of God when they walk up to you, like butter would not melt in their mouth?
I laughed so hard when Wayne says these people can be in your life and stick around just like those stubborn turds THAT REFUSE TO FLUSH. No Matter how many times you flush the toilet they seem to re-appear or just refuse to allow the plumbing system to work it's magic!!

I can hear you say you cannot possibly forgive someone who has hurt you so badly, a man talked about wanting to go and urinate on his Father's Grave - Wayne simply answered that yes he felt the same at a point, and then made the emphasis that perhaps learn to change your thought process on why this person came into your life - was this person actually in some strange way, sent as a teacher to draw you toward becoming a better You. To help direct you on your path?
You can look at the negative expressions from EVERYONE in your life as a lesson. Something you can learn from. I have a particularly bad nasty neighbour, I have discussed her briefly before, but now I have learned to accept who she is, and understand in a way the reasons she acts like she does. Rather than want to murder her or allow her to cause me such agony in emotions and feelings, I now think of her on a totally different level. I send her love in my mind rather than invest in the venom or hate - I will bless her in my mind the next time she starts to hurl abuse and physically threaten or challenge me. I will walk away and not respond, rather than add a bucket load of fuel to the fire that has exploded many times in the past - and I must add TO NO BENEFIT.

I made this observation and had a thought about the scenario with my neighbour - I am walking from my Mother's Unit to my Unit and suddenly, once upon a time I used to assume she had a Happiness "radar", she appears and starts screaming her abuse - first reaction - ignore bless her go into my unit - yes I will feel shocked and slightly perturbed... but I have the strength of mind to deal with it. Second scenario - I answer back, with a reply I think will somehow make her see my point of view, or to shake her into seeing my perspective - To a person most unwell and out of control - dangerous. She will react like I just threw fuel on her and erupt, threaten to smash my windows or kill me and that sort of thing. How do I then go into my unit feeling? If it got real bad, and the police attended like they have in the past, this just consumes the negative energy into a sickness. The memory of going to court and applying for a restraining order to cease her constant attacks is not a memory I reflect upon as joyful. I used to feel quite drained and I was physically making myself sick a year ago on this venom. It nearly killed me.

I have found a calmness, a gentle sense of peace in my mind. I have let go of all the people I used to hold so negatively with containers of snake venom. To prove this, I watched a video by Leo from Actualized.org recently, he asked us to write down a list of all the people in your life - you currently despise hate or have strong judgement towards. He said pause the video, go write the list, and return.
I did. I had the pen and paper in my hands for over five minutes.
The names failed to flow. I tried to rack my brain. Nobody.

Food for thought?

Just so you know, you can get a plumber to clear those blockages and allow those turds to flush, the plumber is free - you do not have pay someone. Look at investing in the services of a person who can expertly help you - where do you find them? Who are they? Go walk into your bathroom, gaze into the mirror - who do you see? The ONLY person for the job - and most capable - they may not have the skills yet but they can learn as well as any tradesman how to do a quality job. They will have the plumbing in pure FLOW.

I do not intend or want you to discuss why you cannot apply the above, or the event or person that prevents you - just simply read this and you need not apply anything in life. But I can tell you, you can shout and scream the above is not feasible - and I will answer with the Dyer quote If You Change the Way You Look at Things - the things you look at Change.

Lastly a song - a dark dark song - we are not all into the light at certain points in our lives and I personally do not believe in shutting myself away from listening to music some consider as dark brooding - or even dangerous to positive energy - it is how you feel in your mind when you listen to music. I used to put on Slayer or some death metal when I had bad anger and mood issues a year ago... I rarely listen to it for that reason anymore. In fact I do not listen for that reason - that is almost putting the welcome mat at your feet to the anger and mood to rub it's feet and come inside, and sit down for a glass of Red. Spend the whole evening in your bed. Wake up beside you and smile as you regret the night before. You danced and entertained a most stinky turd. Flush them.

This song is by Sparklehorse and Danger Mouse - Dark Night Of The Soul. Let me know if the video ever gets taken down I will edit and replace it so the video is not dead.
R.I.P. Mark Linkous (AKA Sparklehorse) I truly wish you had found peace on earth whilst you graced us with your talent, showered in pain and hurt. You will leave a legacy of great creativity for the future generations to reflect upon. Bless You. Love You.

I AM - Always in a Constant Growth Pattern of Learning

I  would like to share my thoughts and emotions largely based on my recent decision to jump into the YouTube fire or cauldron. I was unsure whether or not I could do it, would do it; if I had the capacity or general skills and personality to do it. And how it would transpire into my feelings and thoughts.

Last night I had some certain dealings with a certain person. The video I made on nutrition or weight loss triggered a response from them. I initially thought the response was unfair and based on the poor attitude they reflected from themselves. I will not go into detail too deeply. It was on a social media site I rarely use and I was almost expecting to draw some heat.

The main thing is, after some lack of consideration, I allowed myself to blow up and lower myself to an energy level I am trying hard to learn to disengage myself from. I allowed the old me to hurl some serious old me anger back at the person. This prompted a feeling of thoughts and emotions after the fact.

I was listening to a Dr. Wayne W. Dyer audio late last night, as I usually do in the hour before bed. His voice I trust now always has this calming effect. No matter what the day has held, whether it was a day of pure flow a day of slight challenges, or whatever - I hear him speak and it has this calming soothing influence - it triggers an introspection every single time.

The audio series has eight CDs so I am never trapped by one set of principles or ideals to ponder.
I began to listen to him on his principle of ego and how he said something along the lines of True Nobility is not defined in essence by wanting or feeling you are better than anyone else, or in competition with anyone else - that you have done something better than someone else - it is defined by a simple premise of learning to simply believe this - I am simply BETTER THAN THE PERSON I ONCE WAS.

I am in the process as everyone else is - of learning, of growing and constantly trying to push myself toward that goal of :

Becoming the best person, to myself - I can possibly be.

Not for reasons of status or the reason to be liked or loved. I do not care for the acceptance of anyone else but myself. I do not require the validation of others to make me feel whole. I must learn to dismiss all ego and the desire to promote what I have done in the past; in a way or manner that makes others feel like I am saying - I am better. I am best. You tried. You failed. You did not try hard enough. I am not doing it for reasons to gain any form of recognition that is only to cradle my own ego. I must keep learning to try and stay on the outer edges of obscurity, to dilute ego.

Let go of the look at me, oh should I have done that video when I had a huge pimple on my forehead? What will others think of my odd deep strange Aussie accent mixed with Dutch tone... and a low vibrational Leonard Cohen monotonous speaking voice drone - and my rocking around in motion on my computer chair as I spoke... the way I pronounced Dyer as DYWER all this mindless negative monkey chatter.
The old me surfaced and whispered gently many many times. The thought of my first thumbs down on a YouTube Video from someone - who could it have been and why would they thumbs down a video that promoted healthy fitness food?

I really had to look within myself and ask - why am I feeling this? Why am I feeling these emotions? Just like Gregg Braden says you need to address this as Hmmmmm. I feel this, everyone feels it, how can I use this to assess a better path forward? You can never avoid all negative thought - it is simply impossible, even Louise L. Hay guides her negative thoughts like stray sheep gently back into the paddock of positive thought. We have the brain that is programmed from the instinct of worry - it comes from from the days we required it - will that killer animal eat me when me, myself Mr Caveman tries to gather a feed for the dark ages family? Would the tribe be upset if I clubbed Mr Caveman sitting opposite me to death across the fire? He wrote over my caveman drawing this morning - and it was a work of art - my graffiti should never be gone over by anyone. Sadly an indictment of our modern society the intense pace and stress causes most of us to be consumed by excessive caveman worry - but into things the caveman had no real purpose of learning from. The negative things we consume ourselves with in present society; we source and embrace, are to our pure detriment. It has left many carcasses of people who did not cope to lie regretfully behind us. I know I have been to some funerals I know needed not happen.

I applied the principle that Dyer tries to encourage most effectively to that person I abused. I began to rather Not think of them with disdain or negative resentment - I actually blessed them - they allowed this whole thought process to be triggered. I thanked them within myself. They said some things from a perspective I needed to hear. Some truths came out that I was denying. I felt Gratitude. I truly took the views and applied it as wisdom, You can never allow yourself to fully shut off from all opinions of others when sometimes those opinions must be looked at from a different angle.

I needed to source a video from the inspirational friend that made me jump into that fire - so this is her video that I clicked upon and I must share it - the theme relates boldly to some of my thoughts and my actions forward. And you know now how much I love and adore my music so I will include a well known song for you all at the bottom of my blog - enjoy and it has elements I am drawn to, in times of need the album it comes from is a worthy source of positive energy. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars from the album Eyes Open - in my thoughts eyes open - heart open!

I AM WORTHY -
I AM ON THE PATH TO A BETTER ME -
I AM OPEN TO LEARNING AND ACCEPTING ALL I FEEL
I AM INTENT ON LOVE AND LIGHT.

Thankyou for reading, and you WILL SEE ME AGAIN ON YOUTUBE SOON.
love and light
Namaste.