The Pursuit for Truth (Drive Your Essence)

What do we want in life? Who do we turn to for guidance on the path ahead?
This theme has triggered some serious thoughts and energy in me the last week or so.
I was replying and seeking some answers to some serious questions during the last week, by looking up certain YouTube spiritual teachers or self-actualization leaders, and trying to interact with some like-minded people online.

There was one person who gave me enormous hope, but no response, no answer. No reply. She was Not the person I use as the video reference in this blog below. I started having many thoughts jump at me, much like they used to, in the days of not knowing life. So I started to assess these emotions, and looked into her wisdom, without placing any emphasis on why or where my thoughts led me.
Like Gregg Braden says when you feel things like this, stop and ask yourself, why am I feeling this? What does this tell me?

I will not go into further detail, except to say it was more than a lack of reply. It was deeper than that in regard to communication. I began to ever so gently doubt myself. Was it something within Me? Was I not putting enough light out; or was my light corrupted? All kinds of stupid things I let go of thinking in recent times. It is not that we should expect anyone to acknowledge us in any way, people are Never predictable, and the most important lesson in life - is to accept you can never control or expect anyone to react to you in any enforced way Good or Bad. You do not need the acceptance of anyone else in life. You have yourself. You love yourself so much, with such power, that the other people around you - or as shown in the video I will share - need not affect your path. You learn to fill from your own cup and not need others to pour anything else in.

Despite the filling of my own cup I felt like the only true accompaniment in my journey was a shadow, One great thing I did learn was to embrace some spiritual people locally. I went through a major incident this week. Something happened that has some implications if it transpires in the next few months. This did not help the above thought and emotional process at all, It in fact just added to it. I learned that piece of advice above from the female, so I will take her blessing of knowledge in my heart - gratitude.

I consulted a spiritual place I have been to recently, again. I did a heart meditation for the second time, communally with people that I needed energy and light from. It was great. I will embrace the friendship and the power of wisdom gained... and I love meeting like-minded people, particularly locally.

Yesterday I was drawn to the path of two new people online. A wonderful male from Norway. He is such a shining light. I will include one of his videos below as well. And the female in the video I will share. I will share my thoughts on how this triggered some new energy. Some new wisdom, a new light.

The female her name, as many of you no doubt are already well aware of her name and perhaps the "reputation" that seems to cast a shadow is Teal Swan. Or also known as Teal Scott.
I watched some of her videos, and it really threw some pleasing mind energy my way.
Not only in the visual aspect, being a typical man or male I must always try and remain focused when it comes to beauty! But she really drove some thoughts in my mind all morning yesterday.
I need not discuss anything about her so called "reputation", except to say the challenges you face in the past - and people seem to love casting their strong personal views out of fear onto others, in a sense to cast doubts or reinforce standards in life that should never be considered by an open mind.

I needed some answers this week.
This video by Teal pretty much is a general summary and reflection of all I need to say. Please consider sticking with it past the initial few minutes, you might be tempted to quit the video but hang in there, for those of you who need answers in life I am sure you might benefit.

And may I introduce a man by the name of Chris Lie, this person really also gave me light yesterday. I needed to embrace the wisdom from another male - I have been so drawn to so many females in the spiritual circles it feels remarkable to have a male to source light and knowledge from! Like my good friend Dr. Gillian Ross says the universe unfolds as it should, and I believe the people that you need are drawn into your life,
Enjoy his video and his light! And since you all know how much I love my music - the song that has been my driving spiritual theme song during my joyful time of opening my mind - Placebo - Hold Onto Me - stick around for the spoken word dialogue that Brian Molko expresses toward the end... unseen and unheard of in modern music! (just after the 3:15 ms mark)

and lastly to Teal, you are such a force of positive light it is almost unbearably powerful; beyond the concepts of what most allow to reinforce growth restraint. The limitations held by science, educational institutions dictatorial teachers of religion or spiritual bullies. The inadequacy of not accepting things are happening in this universe beyond the realms of what most choose to see. The manner in which you project your skills to try and shine your light is truly a gift of beauty and love.
Gratitude.  

To Judge or Not to Judge? THAT is the Question!

Just wanted to share some thoughts this morning, free style. On that note, I saw a beat boxer in the city last week, doing his thing. He no doubt draws some interesting thoughts and makes certain impressions on the people walking past - But you know what? He is loving his Passion - he has love and a skill so leave him be. If you judge anyone for something they love to do, it is not a reflection on the foolishness of what they do; but a mirrored reflection of the person you are. You are projecting things within yourself and creating a judgement from You - Not from their behaviour. If you need to forgive someone in life - you must have judged in order to want it.

On this note, Wayne W. Dyer and Louise L. Hay speak of forgiveness, my dear Mother when I discussed the concept - her first blurted question was I CANNOT FORGIVE anyone who has hurt me AND ALLOW THEM BACK INTO MY LIFE!!!
No worries - You are actually better off without them in your life - they are a negative energy but what you need to address is to forgive them in your heart and mind, and let go of the pain. Holding onto that pain, is like Wayne describes as the snake bite - You can say Yes the snake bit me, I recognise this, but I will not allow the venom to slowly eat away at me and poison me until death.
I know from experience, hell we ALL DO, just how toxic and unbearable that venom can be.

Think of the ex-partner you turned against, the friend who shafted you, the co-worker who spreads lies or gossips about you - the friend who talks shit behind your back - and smiles with the grace of God when they walk up to you, like butter would not melt in their mouth?
I laughed so hard when Wayne says these people can be in your life and stick around just like those stubborn turds THAT REFUSE TO FLUSH. No Matter how many times you flush the toilet they seem to re-appear or just refuse to allow the plumbing system to work it's magic!!

I can hear you say you cannot possibly forgive someone who has hurt you so badly, a man talked about wanting to go and urinate on his Father's Grave - Wayne simply answered that yes he felt the same at a point, and then made the emphasis that perhaps learn to change your thought process on why this person came into your life - was this person actually in some strange way, sent as a teacher to draw you toward becoming a better You. To help direct you on your path?
You can look at the negative expressions from EVERYONE in your life as a lesson. Something you can learn from. I have a particularly bad nasty neighbour, I have discussed her briefly before, but now I have learned to accept who she is, and understand in a way the reasons she acts like she does. Rather than want to murder her or allow her to cause me such agony in emotions and feelings, I now think of her on a totally different level. I send her love in my mind rather than invest in the venom or hate - I will bless her in my mind the next time she starts to hurl abuse and physically threaten or challenge me. I will walk away and not respond, rather than add a bucket load of fuel to the fire that has exploded many times in the past - and I must add TO NO BENEFIT.

I made this observation and had a thought about the scenario with my neighbour - I am walking from my Mother's Unit to my Unit and suddenly, once upon a time I used to assume she had a Happiness "radar", she appears and starts screaming her abuse - first reaction - ignore bless her go into my unit - yes I will feel shocked and slightly perturbed... but I have the strength of mind to deal with it. Second scenario - I answer back, with a reply I think will somehow make her see my point of view, or to shake her into seeing my perspective - To a person most unwell and out of control - dangerous. She will react like I just threw fuel on her and erupt, threaten to smash my windows or kill me and that sort of thing. How do I then go into my unit feeling? If it got real bad, and the police attended like they have in the past, this just consumes the negative energy into a sickness. The memory of going to court and applying for a restraining order to cease her constant attacks is not a memory I reflect upon as joyful. I used to feel quite drained and I was physically making myself sick a year ago on this venom. It nearly killed me.

I have found a calmness, a gentle sense of peace in my mind. I have let go of all the people I used to hold so negatively with containers of snake venom. To prove this, I watched a video by Leo from Actualized.org recently, he asked us to write down a list of all the people in your life - you currently despise hate or have strong judgement towards. He said pause the video, go write the list, and return.
I did. I had the pen and paper in my hands for over five minutes.
The names failed to flow. I tried to rack my brain. Nobody.

Food for thought?

Just so you know, you can get a plumber to clear those blockages and allow those turds to flush, the plumber is free - you do not have pay someone. Look at investing in the services of a person who can expertly help you - where do you find them? Who are they? Go walk into your bathroom, gaze into the mirror - who do you see? The ONLY person for the job - and most capable - they may not have the skills yet but they can learn as well as any tradesman how to do a quality job. They will have the plumbing in pure FLOW.

I do not intend or want you to discuss why you cannot apply the above, or the event or person that prevents you - just simply read this and you need not apply anything in life. But I can tell you, you can shout and scream the above is not feasible - and I will answer with the Dyer quote If You Change the Way You Look at Things - the things you look at Change.

Lastly a song - a dark dark song - we are not all into the light at certain points in our lives and I personally do not believe in shutting myself away from listening to music some consider as dark brooding - or even dangerous to positive energy - it is how you feel in your mind when you listen to music. I used to put on Slayer or some death metal when I had bad anger and mood issues a year ago... I rarely listen to it for that reason anymore. In fact I do not listen for that reason - that is almost putting the welcome mat at your feet to the anger and mood to rub it's feet and come inside, and sit down for a glass of Red. Spend the whole evening in your bed. Wake up beside you and smile as you regret the night before. You danced and entertained a most stinky turd. Flush them.

This song is by Sparklehorse and Danger Mouse - Dark Night Of The Soul. Let me know if the video ever gets taken down I will edit and replace it so the video is not dead.
R.I.P. Mark Linkous (AKA Sparklehorse) I truly wish you had found peace on earth whilst you graced us with your talent, showered in pain and hurt. You will leave a legacy of great creativity for the future generations to reflect upon. Bless You. Love You.

arrogance is ugly in life even uglier in fitness

I wanted to share some thoughts on the subject of arrogance and ego in people and in fitness circles. I do not know for sure when I started out if I had the misconception that most fitness people were possibly arrogant and had their heads stuck up their glutes.  I have spoken to people and some do believe this stereotype, when they have not been in the lifestyle from the outside looking in.

Many people are reluctant to join a gym because they feel they might be judged or rated or feel inferior to the other fitness members who push hard and show the obvious results physically.
Many obese people are sensitive and lack self esteem and cannot face the prospect of being around fit people, they want to reach their goals yes, but in front of the people that are so strong and fit?
There was a wonderful google plus post of a man who got dressed up in costume at the gym to divert the attention away from his self conscious obese friend who hated the attention. It worked and it was a remarkable human spirit gesture of kindness and respect and goodwill.
If only all people could be like this sadly some are not - some do have their heads stuck up their toned arses, I have found these to be the minority the majority of fitness people I encounter are the greatest people I have ever known.

Negative people are everywhere, I was walking the street yesterday in a tank top that says Eat Clean Train Mean Live Lean, and this stranger gave me the most dirty look of disapproval you can imagine,  you could see in his eyes he hated the fact I work on myself.
Some random guys the other week starting yelling abuse from 100 metres behind me saying stuff to try and incite me and you think you are so F**ing good don't you and so on, I just held my head high did not respond and let it bounce off me.
Guys can be worse than females I get many men who are extremely hateful and resentful of my lifestyle, they are jealous but won't admit it, they like to make excuses and say they cannot make the time but they look at you like they would love to kill you.

Arrogance is everywhere lurking out of every mouth that comes from negative people who like to put down people, they cannot accept are doing better than them.  They resent success and hard work they want to belittle you and knock you down a peg or two.

I am here to say stay strong and focus on your goals and what you want and need to do in this life to make yourself a better person and let go of everything from the people who do not matter.
I gave up caring what others think when I grew mentally stronger months ago.
It is the best feeling you can imagine.  To be free of worry and negativity is something many dream of.  You cannot shake it all it is like saying you will never laugh or smile again the times and moments come and thoughts test you, but if you build your warrior in mind and body you can break the world apart, and climb any ladder, scale any mountain, and conquer any goal you set yourself!

edit: I might add if you are not in fitness to share and help and inspire others, only in it for yourself and your own ego, you are not doing it for the right reasons, if we can all help and teach and learn and inspire we grow stronger together doing it alone we lack this.