When I was 14, I was shaken but not stirred. I began to awaken the creative beast, born from pain. The animal within was writhing in such agony and turmoil, it had no choice but to lash out. It did not intend harm, but the animal can threaten, and intimidate the enemy, all around it, and hunt the prey down for the kill. It can search and destroy at night, or during the day. The animal spirit is for the good - although in the wild, the laws of the natural world appear to some, to be misunderstood. NFR was a concept I created in the inner depths my artistic pursuit. It was my reaction to the world, that in my mind had fucked me over. Any teenager that has had his mother endure Rape - and almost murdered, and has every obstacle placed in the path ahead, from the moment of birth has some entitlement to resentment. Any kid who feels on the outside, and gets beaten from the inside, and outside, reacts. Any child who is taught from every person they come into contact with, that opinions and morals projected from them, matter more to shaping the future. The simple ideology of being unique, or setting a dream of using the imagination - is not a vision of success taught by the teachers of life. NFR was a graffiti crew I started in 1992, it still has active members to this day - making it the longest running serving graffiti group ever to embrace our city. It stood for NO FUCKING RESPECT. I believed in having NO FUCKING RESPECT - for the rules that broke my dreams, the rules of others that enforced sadness, guilt, sorrow or pain over LOVE. You may THINK you have the RIGHT to stop someone, or to say someone has no right to act in a way that conflicts with what YOU believe in. I gave up Graffiti at age 16, largely in part to one act of gratitude by the people of whom some I was rebelling against. I was never caught, charged nor arrested at ANY stage. I have No criminal record. I was being admitted to Psych one cold winter night in 1993, my life had pretty much ended - I had done such extreme drug use my mind collapsed - Lsd and lesser substances had taken the Syd Barret effect, turned the creative animal in me, to a crippled, cage-bound restricted emotional wreck. I was being driven to the hospital in the back of a police car - who I must say acted with such dignity and concern for my welfare. Perhaps if they knew the above secret the officers, male and female; may not have allowed me a simple act - I was so terrified and in turmoil an officer said I could light a cigarette in the backseat and smoke, whilst driving along the highway. This broke the rules - but in my mind at that time the rules that perhaps are most worthy of breaking. The act of allowing someone else's life to be better, rather than concern yourself with the rules enforced to make you a robot. We are slaves in a manner, to judgement, to opinions - to the resentment, hate and violence inflicted by a society or world that encourages limits. I have, always will have, and forever more NO FUCKING RESPECT for this. The graffiti element is out of my hands - that was taken away from me by other forces - so please I do not want you jumping up and down blaming me for any past, current or future property damage. I do not hold any desire for breaking any laws these days. In fact - that teenager gave up smoking, gave up ALL drugs, Resentment and started to live in solitude. And slowly recover. It has taken over 22 years for this to emerge or evolve fully. But my principle stands. Deal with it. If you cannot respect yourself, and love yourself in order to respect others - I have simply: NO FUCKING RESPECT for that. But I accept it. I accept ALL, regardless of what you do, how you act, what you have done or do, in any manner that used to once conflict with my own standards or enforced belief system. I judge you not for anything. Sadly, not many reflect this in return. the video below the NFR image is a main motivating force that summarises many of my shared ideals these days. It was made by Mateusz M, the man is one awakened enlightened mind. Look up his videos on YouTube, powerful motivation. The concept of NFR has been reborn on the day I took the photo below the video. The concept is the ideals or visions I stand beside. Not in the sense of encouraging any property damage whatsoever - but mentally. Mental strength. You must learn to look within, and start to THINK, question Yourself, and Respect Yourself. If you do not - you're the robot or puppet that moves along this world with the other 99 % of the robots and pulled-stringed puppets. The mind is one, the act of the manner in which you treat others, the world around you, the people, animals, all life forms and energy. UNIVERSE - Uni - (one) Verse (Song) We are supposed to sing as One, yes we all have different melodies and create frequency or songs that differ, but the one song is not being made or heard as intended. This was a great concept I learned from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer - an internationally known and respected man of knowledge and inner mental strength, depth and thought. You know what it is - THINK. Learn. Open your mind to it. Break that robot mindset. Namaste.
I had some powerful thoughts recently on Motivation. I was reading a book about our Aussie Champ Sally Pearson, and I feel that Motivation is a huge driving force within all of us. It can be for whatever pursuit we attain it to, sports, career, athlete success, business, relationships... the desire to just make something come full circle starts with a goal, or an idea. A vision, an inspiration... a dream perhaps. Some of us are Not motivated. We are not particularly driven to do anything substantial. Perhaps reasons for this are varying, it can be the place we are at right now in life. What I want to talk about is what drives a person to follow through, and what sustains momentum? What essence keeps motivation strong? I will not go into excess detail I tend to ramble too much in my blog posts, so I will try to keep this short. Two main principles I have discovered for me personally have been: Discovering your Passion. I love this T.D. Jakes quote:
I believe all the primary success masters have adopted this simple mindset of - if you do Not enjoy what you do, that can be your career or job, or chosen interest/pursuit you will not succeed. Find or discover your True passion and it will be your true purpose. That is a first guiding principle I found worked for me, and opened up paths and realms of possibilities.
Principle One: Purpose and Passion - or Love.
Loving the passion, and getting such a high level of enjoyment from it, you are forced to always do it. How many things do we honestly maintain for a long period of time we dislike? If you paint or like writing Poetry, but you only get a low or moderate level of joy, perhaps look into something that draws your creative energy stronger - into feelings... not short term emotional reward; but something that feeds you the feelings of happiness and pleasure. If you embrace exercise and fitness but do not like certain activities, change the exercise to something you do enjoy, or change the mindset approach. If you do not like working at McDonalds, get the hell out of there and push yourself forward. If you are in retail, but dream of something big - but a family member or some fear holds you back from trying to think about something else - think big, shoot the fear down. Perhaps you are from a family that expects you to accomplish something according to what they believe. What they believe is right for you - You might be expected to be a Lawyer, and frowned upon for expressing a desire to follow a different path - ignore them - this is Your Life - Not Theirs. If you allow yourself to live under the control and expectations of others, allow yourself to be dictated to by the opinions; good or bad, of others - if you listen to the Naysayers - you will be doomed. This leads me into the next principle because you are held back by the above by a strong force:
Second principle - Fear and the required Dissolution.
Fear is the number one enemy. It prevents most of us from everything. It comes from the mind - but you can slay it. You can learn to beat it. Most people have fears of failure - what if I try and fail? What will my friends and family think? What will I think of myself? Failure will come - to everyone - but learn to embrace rather than hide and avoid it. Each little obstacle is just another hurdle you can jump and you must keep hold of hope, you and focus. You never know, the path might be clear for the next 100 metres until the finish line. If you think, that hurdle was too hard... there are twenty more ahead - I might hit the next one with my knees, and fall down. I will lose. I do not have the energy or strength left in me to reach it. It's too hard. You will not get to that finish line in life. The Motivation has been lost. It escaped you. The bad aspect of your mind won - it beat you down like a champion boxer, it gave you a KO, but the sad thing is - it was Not better than you - it was not a champion that beat you - it was a shadow. It was something within yourself you allowed to break you down, largely in part from your own negative thinking. I was listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival the song below at 4am this Sunday Morning during fasted Steady State Cardio - ... Run Through The Jungle. It got me onto the thoughts of how war time and extreme life challenges force motivation. I need not discuss or raise opinions about war and killing - what I want to emphasise is the mindset in order to survive and endure hardship - in order to stay motivated. I heard recently that a person who was in the Jewish filled death camps observed the people around him, he wrote or noted that the people who gave up, had no motivation to survive, usually met this fate. The people that had some drive within, the fighters that embraced a mindset of - I want to get out of here, and tell the world what horror took place - I will Not allow myself to die in this shit-hole. These people cannot beat me. I want to tell my future children and grand-children of the atrocity - so this never happens again... these people had something worth living for - a sheer drive to continue. The motivation needed in order to last... of course not all of them did survive; but the majority of the stronger minded people walked out to share the tale. The people who said this is it. I give up... generally one would be led to believe, endured a tougher time and relented first mentally. Mental strength is paramount. The Mind is more powerful than the body. You need to learn that success is based on how you think, and what you think - what you create in your mind - how you visualise your goals - and how you sustain the motivation needed. I will include a great video interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger on this topic. Place your attention on the mind aspect he discusses, and the people who speak to him of the desire. The people that crave on hunger and feed from it, as opposed to those who do not. Nourish your motivation with passion - feed it heaps of calories, fatten it up everyday - make it obese in fact. Fuel the mind, Research. Read. Watch. Listen. Learn. Be inspired. Create. Share ...Grow. and RUN THROUGH THAT JUNGLE OF FEAR - beat the odds and come out the other side Victorious. There will be times you will doubt, you may want to entertain quitting. Think about the reasons you are doing it - perhaps the soldiers in this clip thought about that loving wife back home, the family they intended to reunite with. Think about why are you doing this? Focus - and continue the march. Like I always say Improve the Body the MIND follows! If you have any questions I am happy to answer and help when I can, I am Not motivated by money or a desire to profit from my positive encouragement. I do not have a website that wants you to outlay large sums of money in order for me to feel whole. This blog is public and not advertised it is free and basic. I have been ignored by many of the highest profile fitness and health industry bloggers. I do not care, I will continue to enjoy what I love doing. Character is everything - arrogance and ego are ugly. I just try and promote my social media interests to feeding my own goals - the gratitude I receive from others telling me - they can learn from this. What I have faced and the challenges I can share - how I have learned from them. What I can show to others; a light that remains behind a closed door. If you want to open it up, look into changing things - start with an idea, a dream, a vision. Build on it. Look into mental fitness such as meditation and nutrition for the physical, get yourself active and help your body learn to love you back. Then things start to happen, things can open up. You can gain confidence. I was watching the Biggest Loser this time last year, and when the Trainers spoke of the concept - Let go of the Past - In order to move forward - I was thinking at that point in time ... How??? Is it possible???I Wish I could. Please explain how this is possible? Now I understand. Now I get it. You grow, the strength comes from the manner in which you learn and adapt and apply. With growth comes mass - you get bigger, mentally and physically. Stronger in mind and body. I am not talking about bodybuilder mass I am talking strength of heart, mind and body in terms of gaining true Power. The strength to start to view the world differently. If you want a truly great tip; if like myself - you faced some severe mental challenges and issues in the past the book called "Your Erroneous Zones" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer may just be the blueprint you will need to get started. If you have faced challenges you cannot let go of, or just think the past cannot possibly be forgotten - consider investing in it - if there was one book I needed to read - if the world ended, and I was forced to hold one book for the rest of my days - and if the world was troubled - that book would be my gift to myself. If I can share this gift with one person and it changes their life, my work is done. like Dr. Wayne W. Dyer says: if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.
We face challenges, nobody has immunity from this. I love how Greg Plitt said we must crawl or walk through the mud, in order to reach the higher ground in life. Some of us stay stuck in the mud, we maintain a futile insistence largely driven by fear, that the endeavour to escape is either too hard, or others have failed. The failure of others to overcome strengthens our belief that the mud is best to remain covered in, at least for the time being. Perhaps oneday we might consider climbing out. But for now, we embrace the comfort it gives us, the zone of which familiarity keeps us idle.
When I was 14 things happened to change my life, To me it was a downward spiral into the mud. I learned to cover myself in it. Things happened much more powerful and intense in effect than the event I speak of below at age 16. Nonetheless I learned to saviour the taste for many years like some forbidden fruit. I wanted to discard the fruit and my desire to taste it, but I kept hold of the memory for my innermost protection - the comfort zone again. Like a crutches analogy, I used the broken bones or injury but kept using the crutches for years after the pain and injury had healed. I was wounded. The original injury never fully healed, I still suffered new events, caused in large part by the infinite ache of the initial wound.
Reflection now is most peaceful. I can look back on this part of my life as the best Teacher I ever had. Perhaps this teacher was in essence like the book I am currently reading by Dr. Gillian Ross titled Psyche's Yearning; Gillian describes PSYCHE AND EROS.
The story is phenomenal I urge you to look it up, if you are unaware of it.
A part of me was EROS, I do not deny my feminine love and spirit within me. Yes I am a male but the path some men choose to follow is to remain steadfast in their male traits. If I want to think about hostility and the cave-man desire to beat my chest, to pronounce I am physical strength over mind. I choose to remain unable or unwilling to separate the denial of compassion or feelings/emotions. Not all men do, I know, but many perceive the manner in which all men need to behave and act; much to the detriment of the male consciousness and actions.
I think of the wars and violence created from ego, the need to be better than others. The seemingly innate precision design of men's minds that dictates how we must always prove we are strong. We need to be the hunter-gatherer in mindset, we are the supreme source of talent, but we misplace it or abuse it by losing character. We are strong, but we are weaker in other aspects that matter more.
I feel a slight sadness for the many females who are trapped by men of such limitations. And the men who believe it is primarily the fault of the female, not the above self ignorance, that is the sole blame.
I endured this misguidance from the day I started to grow into a man, from the time of knowing I was a boy I dealt with other boys who early on - dictated forcefully the actions of this imbalance.
I recall one of my best friends in Primary school was indigenous, or of Aboriginal heritage. Or Black - whatever you would choose to label him perhaps. We loved the same music and got on like true mates. One-day the above male single-minded caveman instinct came to the forefront at school, when the boys for unknown reasons, chose to gather like a pack and hunt down my friend with hatred. They threw insults at him, started feeding off the negative energy of each other, until it was growing into unimaginable torment for my friend. What could I do? I found myself disliking it, the leader of the almost Tsavo Lion pride was, what you might term in America as "the Jock." The fit supreme athlete type that was showered with accolades, and earned a higher respect than the rest of us.
Everyone was fearful of him, due in part to the respect in a sense. I walked up and forcefully pushed him against the wall, grabbed his shirt so hard it ripped it. I put my fist up to his chin and demanded the Rot needed to STOP. The rest of the boys stepped back, in shock, I had never behaved this way before. I was the lamb, I was the perfect animal they always used to chase down. How could the lamb stand up and face a lion? Well love conquers hate.
I will tell you more about that story, that Jock may have had supreme talent and skill, but he died at age 16 on a motorbike - going like a bat out of hell lost control and was killed instantly. I feel immense sadness he would have made the Australian Football League and been a successful highly skilled footballer. He lost his chance. R.I.P. Mate I shared many good times and memories with you - like the time you threw my footy boots into the basement darkness to scare me into going there. The times you acted so eccentric and wanted to release your inhibition you let off fireworks in your hallway when your mother was out ... before football training. Funny, loving reflections.
The other kid, the person I respected and loved, do you know what became of him? The origin of my story was around 27 years ago.
I will elaborate - years later about five to be precise, I was at High School. I was that lamb again. The other boys used to love to try and slaughter me at every chance. I was walking through the yard with a few weeks left until graduation. This bully came up, I had witnessed his antics numerous times on others. He stated simply "This is my territory."
I smiled and replied (censored) "Suck my D...".
He tried to get me involved in an altercation, as I turned around to look at what I sensed was trouble, the entire school had already gathered in communal presence to observe. The gladiator arena had been suddenly built in the middle of the school for all to enjoy and embrace the mindless violence.
As I did this, another "warrior" grabbed me and pinned my arms held me down, hoping for the other "warriors" to gain the advantage of the battle. They did. I was kicked in the eye, so forcefully it caused bleeding in the eye that required later medical examination... it took months to heal and like crutches i used sunglasses to help comfort my injury. A large motivation was to hide the embarrassment because my ego gave a concern for what other people thought of me.
I came home from that experience just like a Bond Martini I was Shaken, not stirred. Well to be brutally honest I was stirred beyond belief. I was emotional. I was hurt emotionally, more than physically. I was in my bedroom alone dealing with the pain. My best friend at the time Adam, that morning had loaned me the album Automatic For The People by R.E.M. - it was a new release.
I put it on, with the intent it may just distract me.
Cue the song below, about track 4, this song came on, I had never in my life heard it before. It gets the best of people emotional - I cried. I cried and I cried.
A knock at the door, I tried to get the macho man strength back, I could hear my Mother talking to a visitor. I tried to dry my eyes and face AND BE A REAL MAN. The Cure - what a band I loved at that time - BOYS DON'T CRY.
Guess who it was????
Just try and GUESS.
You remember the friend I related in the story above?
He had come to check I WAS OKAY. (Not the dead friend - Yes I may adopt some spiritual themes, but that pushes me too far into my former insanity themes.)
Reverse Gratitude, years later.
Getting back to the intent of my story and this blog, we walk through the mud. We do not need to allow it to forever be on our skin, in our hearts, and to hold back our minds.
To let go, is to let go of the things that prevent us from marching forward.
We can reach higher ground. We need not keep those crutches for longer than necessary. We need not be afraid of jumping from the mud pit and thinking life can be different. We need not fear change. We can build the life we want from dismissing the need to rely on excuses.
Birth - rebirth. The ability to die while we are alive in order to break free, and start to live without a cage, without restraint.
We have purpose, we have passion, we need to find what we love, embrace it. We need to understand that from pain can come the champion spirit to try and succeed.
You will fail, you will fall down, the question is, will you land on your back, facing upwards, so you can stand back up and punch your fist of determination at the shadows of the person you used to be? Or do you choose to lie face down and submit to defeat? Do you feel comfort in the sense of being able to take a breather and rest for a while? You might get back up when you choose, if you choose.
Or you can stand up like a fighter and prepare to take on the next round, with a view to victory.
You can build on the fact you are no better than anyone else. People may hate on you and think you have ego, or you are saying you are better than them. Inside it matters not. Inside is the heart you embrace and the passion that drives you forward. You can use the hatred or misguided opinions of others to; rather than stall your engine - to add to the intensity of the fuel.
Burn that shit up, take it out at the gym or whatever you use as your creative release. Stand tall, stand like you mean it. Do not cower to yourself to anyone else. The lamb can face the lion. The lamb can be remembered as superior - when the lamb helped and the lion simply devoured with the only intent for self-gain. To feed himself, ahead of the pride. To nourish himself. To reward himself at the expense of the others, including family and the entire tribe.
I have become what I tried to seek in my teenage years through experimentation - Comfortably Numb.
I always wanted the ability to have thick skin, to numb myself from what others thought and said about me. How I was perceived by anyone and everyone. I was a puppet pulled by my strings of conformity; to act like the rest... Not be unique. To be someone that just went through life without ever proving anything of value. Someone that never did anything. Someone in essence, who did not matter. A waste. Just a passenger on a train you glance at from your stranger's perspective - you may ponder me, my life, and never remember or think of me again.
I have gained the ultimate sense of comfortable numbness now in mind and body. I am stronger than I used to be. I am happy. I am me. I am a true divine source of love to myself, and I love to project that love from my heart to others. I might also add a reflection on that early school - a female teacher for reasons unknown to common sense, pondered and raised the question to the class, who is the best looking male here? The general consensus was in favour of the Jock. He had everything. Except to me, a brain. The teacher cast her eyes at me and said Oh but Colin is pretty attractive, he is quite cute, quite beautiful for a boy - BUT HE HAS NO BRAINS TO MATCH IT.
I add this out of no resentment or bitterness but to add another aspect - you are told things in the years of growth that help turn you into an adult, the things that shape and mould you. They truly define who you become your strength your desires your beliefs. If you are told things like - you will never be anything, you will never be successful, you are stupid, you are dumb, you will never be smart enough to finish university - you will never become a champion athlete - you are not as great as the person they believe is the best - you have weaknesses - you have attributes of failure, you will end up with a career shovelling fish guts at the wharf, I will add something and please forgive me for using this language - F**KING DISMISS THAT $HIT.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this mental journey, I took a seat on a train I once had a short trip - just to show others what that journey was like, and where the destination may lie. You can choose where your train heads, you cannot change where it came from, the people it picked up, the passengers good and bad along the way. The people who got off at certain stops. The people who smoked in your face when you tried to quit. The people who cast glances and made judgements who did not even know you. The people who told you to act in accordance with their beliefs. The passengers perhaps the female who smiled ever so lovingly and you both got talking. You formed a relationship you fell in love -it died- she got off. You felt sad. You kept on the train. You remembered her for the next hundred stops ahead or thousand. You hoped to see her step back on, She never did. The times you needed your earphones in to numb the emotions, the worrying. The anxiety that crippled you. Anything to dilute the fear you felt. The pain you tried to silence, but it always spoke in whispers. At times it shouted so loudly it made you deaf for long periods of time. But it was a constant companion you did not want always sitting beside you. You wanted it to leave but it kept talking and talking. It never stopped. The passenger known as a lack of self-confidence that prompted the teachers at every school to always keep making me attend classes on how to build self-esteem. Then the decision came. Something triggered an idea. A vision or a Dream of a new destination. A vision to reach and aim for place you thought was never possible to be granted a visa or passport.
HAPPINESS AND SATISFACTION are at this place. Love spends every minute here. Gratitude is a constant visitor that pops their head in the door and whispers, smiles and beams at me, each and every day. Awareness and flow,Synchronicity. Creative abundance, wisdom, balance. The manifestation of all I desire and work toward. I will list the text on an album of paramount importance to my early 14 years of age pain and turmoil - the inside cover of MCMXC a.D by ENIGMA quotes:
THE PATH OF EXCESS LEADS TO THE TOWER OF WISDOM - W. BLAKE.
THE PLEASURE OF SATISFYING A SAVAGE INSTINCT, UNDOMESTICATED BY THE EGO, IS UNCOMPARABLY MUCH MORE INTENSE THAN THE ONE OF SATISFYING A TAMED INSTINCT. THE REASON IS BECOMING THE ENEMY THAT PREVENTS US FROM A LOT OF POSSIBILITIES OF PLEASURE - S. Freud - IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE LIGHT, IT'S BECAUSE OF OBSCURITY, IF YOU BELIEVE IN HAPPINESS IT'S BECAUSE OF UNHAPPINESS, IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD THEN YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN THE DEVIL. -father x - exorcist church of notre dame, paris.
Please take No religious perspective on that last one - I am simply relating in my blog to how if you believe in something one way you are forced into simple mainstream linear thinking.
Enjoy the two songs below, the first is Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
The second is the magic of the song that made my river flow. R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts. I will add that years later I learned that the drummer Bill Berry wrote a majority of the lyrics with large input from the rest of the band. Michael Stipe I think once said this song he desired the intention of it: to help kids through school who had endured hell. To help prevent that kid from perhaps slashing his or her wrists. To encourage them the act of throwing their hand and giving up was not the solution.
That river that flowed from listening to the song was something fraught with pain, I never wanted to swim in it, but now I can reflect on the act of cleansing it encouraged.
Note: Reposted I needed to remove all references to a copyrighted book I promoted and quoted from in the original. I have also greatly shortened the length and made the content better, and more focused and concise, I also removed an image of a brand of Protein Supplement from my shaker bottle photo and added a new photo which does not breach any trademarks or advertising.
I find in life many people lack self-confidence and this blog post explains some of the science behind what can build it, what causes it, and how I personally feel that this skill is the one basic reason many people do not reach their potential in all aspects of life.
I came from a place not so long ago that stripped my self-confidence and self-esteem to the bare bone, but it is not a skill that is dictated by your childhood or forced upon you, it can be acquired and changed at any point in life. Life is not a river that always flows in a certain set path, if you want change - you must believe always in your heart it is possible. Persistence allows water to carve through rock, so if you feel that canyon is preventing you and that flow - consider this an illusion.
Everyone has the capacity of lacking confidence. Even the strongest people are not impervious to the knocks and doubts. Do not believe for a moment that any true champion is a beacon of self-confidence and self-esteem. I can tell you now in their darkest hour they are not infallible.
The driving force behind every mind is the constant hum of the motor and it can falter and stall and stop, at any point, for me personally this can occur at any minute of the day, but the strength to reignite it is a skill you can learn to apply like a trusted mechanic - you trust in yourself you have the ability and capability to fix things.
What are some of the negative effects of a lack of this skill?
The general thought process is what many people think and live by on a day to day mindset: I cannot do it, I will never be good enough, I am not entirely sure I can even handle this. Other people are much better at what they do, and I seem to fail at everything. I have a tough time deciding or trying to make decisions in life.
It can cause feelings like Anger, Resentment and causes anxiety, and allows the worrying process to be further complicated. It increases the behaviour patterns such as: Being withdrawn, not confident enough to make suggestions or to be assertive, keeping yourself in your comfort zone. A fear of the unknown and trying your best to avoid this feeling at all costs by continuing to limit yourself, your mind and ability.
You would not be comfortable looking a person in the eyes directly when you engage in conversation, and when you walk posture is poor, perhaps you excessively sweat and fumble, always feeling tired from the energy you exude on all of the above.
You fail to give any impression to anyone you have confidence, and in a job interview for example, this can lead to life halting many opportunities. In relationships, if you are so substantially weaker than your dominant confident partner I have read that this is also bound for potential failure as well.
If you cannot gain confidence in yourself you will find it harder to gain friends.
I think the above paints the picture of a work of art that has the potential to be created into a masterpiece but for the moment in hangs in an empty gallery waiting to be seen... What are the basic steps to build it?
Some of the simple rules are as follows - practice will lead to confidence. Learning and developing skills and gaining confidence from this process.
Mistakes are inevitable and unavoidable they are a critical aspect of learning.
Try to learn to laugh about them with others who have found themselves in the same situation... think about how many YouTube videos you have watched about people talking about things you can relate to - and sometimes the mistakes we make are made by so many others.
I try to apply the wisdom of a great friend Dr. Gillian Ross the wellbeing expert when she says simply: Be gentle on yourself.
When your life is stuck in a place you feel is not the best it can be, who do you turn to?
Do you ask anyone for help? Who should you seek to help you find the answers? The answer might surprise you - get a mirror, look at the reflection, and who do you see?
Yourself. Look within. To nobody else. And practice makes perfect:
Samuel Beckett said it for us "No matter. try again. Fail again. Fail better."
I have applied the above to EVERY element of my new life, including Fitness, the Gym and my mind and general growth toward reaching every single goal I set myself.
The strength gained from change and self-confidence can build empires. and it can come from those who have been knocked to the canvas over and over all through life and childhood, into adulthood. true champions are born from pain, and find a way to push through this to rise above the hurt and say I can! I will!
I will leave you with the wall quote of the Gym I am a member at: I think this summarizes the above in a more succinct manner. — 'Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.' Mahatma Gandhi
