A Time of Conflict But Inner Peace; the Contradiction.

It has been an interesting long while - since my last Blog.
I have succinct reasoning to justify this absence of written expression. The main one being, I was reading Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, in my early knowledge quest to quench the thirst of insight... I did note that he said and wrote: "There are things that I, and other great people such as Louise L. Hay, will never speak of."

I made a video during some times of shift and turmoil, and it was intended for others. It was made after a short sharp burst of energy, that thankfully subsided as fast as it came.

I will include it at the bottom of this blog. Dr. Gillian Ross the main inspiration behind the video or the themes expressed, was pleased with it, however my ego show at the end and the music was not of her fancy. Very reasonable. 

The music and creative drive really came to the fore, I decided to pursue further music/audio and photography, visual media.,..

I am creating a new balance in my life, I sat making that video for hours, and much to my detriment. I have quite a special new video in the making. The creative process has been refined, rather than excess it just focuses on bit by bit - build the foundation, then the structure... and a building of I hope beauty... over time.

If I sit on my glutes all morning, I now experience cabin fever - I get this feeling that anxiety is trying to creep back onto my back. It has not been there, weighing on my shoulders for more than two years now. That monkey can stay off my back. I will allow him jungle time, he can play, but not on me.
He has plenty to occupy him I am certain. The jungle can be vibrant and alive.

My mind is a more meditative tranquil paradise, as opposed to a jungle these days.
I did an animal spirit guided meditation by Teal Swan this morning for the first time, the one by her rather. I recently did an animal spirit meditation by Gillian, deep Yoga Nidra style, but it was to get in the body of the animal the spirit... not to source your specific power animal.

My first great spiritual experience of unforgettable magnitude was when I was around 15 years old. I was leaning toward the esoteric world - largely driven by my goth sub-culture desire and other teenage yearning.

Poetry, Goth, and the contrast of Graffiti, and rebellion... the artist, the writer, the mind. The spirit.
The insecurity of fear, the weakness and vulnerability of youth.
The wanting or needing to feel a part of something greater, but always standing from the outside looking in, casting a mere shadow inside the wishful circle for fleeting moments.
The wanting to know and understand, what I was born to do. What made me happy - was it drugs, or the 100 miles an hour excess life? Was it spiritual?

That 15 year old was invited to a Shamanic journey, by his experienced older esoteric friends and acquaintances. We went up to this magical house, in the foothills of Mount Wellington, I believed the home was owned by one of the rich spiritually minded souls.

They started the ritual and ceremony, burned some Sage and did other Native instinctive tradition. It was commented the whole room started to get this intense energy. Some said the earth was moving and the room was shifting. This was before we even descended.

Back to first person, I was led down stairs, almost like my artwork in a slight sense, to the spirit world. My power animal made itself visible. To my shock and almost amusement - it was a Polar Bear.

I was thinking you are joking me right?
Like at that age I probably envisioned being in some commercial for Coca-Cola - after all at the time I drank that toxic crap - was the spirit world poking fun?

That soon got blasted away when one of the guides in the room, (speaking guidance) - asked us, or prompted us to question the animal before us.

Are You my Power Animal?

This was the question. (That was the question).

Imagine my total surprise, keep in mind a kid from an fairly ordinary upbringing of usual concepts and earthly restrictions... almost forced into church mainstream worship. The bear replied:

You Are Me.

Enough said.

I got to reunite with that animal thanks to Teal Swan this morning. It was an old friend.
We are no longer just friends... we decided to merge. We are as one, not apart.

In keeping with tradition I will include a great song by an Australian legend of spirit - Xavier Rudd. Please watch it until the end - some of the most visually spectacular imagery ever caught on video from Australia. And in-spirit. Inspirational.

Namaste.

The Pursuit for Truth (Drive Your Essence)

What do we want in life? Who do we turn to for guidance on the path ahead?
This theme has triggered some serious thoughts and energy in me the last week or so.
I was replying and seeking some answers to some serious questions during the last week, by looking up certain YouTube spiritual teachers or self-actualization leaders, and trying to interact with some like-minded people online.

There was one person who gave me enormous hope, but no response, no answer. No reply. She was Not the person I use as the video reference in this blog below. I started having many thoughts jump at me, much like they used to, in the days of not knowing life. So I started to assess these emotions, and looked into her wisdom, without placing any emphasis on why or where my thoughts led me.
Like Gregg Braden says when you feel things like this, stop and ask yourself, why am I feeling this? What does this tell me?

I will not go into further detail, except to say it was more than a lack of reply. It was deeper than that in regard to communication. I began to ever so gently doubt myself. Was it something within Me? Was I not putting enough light out; or was my light corrupted? All kinds of stupid things I let go of thinking in recent times. It is not that we should expect anyone to acknowledge us in any way, people are Never predictable, and the most important lesson in life - is to accept you can never control or expect anyone to react to you in any enforced way Good or Bad. You do not need the acceptance of anyone else in life. You have yourself. You love yourself so much, with such power, that the other people around you - or as shown in the video I will share - need not affect your path. You learn to fill from your own cup and not need others to pour anything else in.

Despite the filling of my own cup I felt like the only true accompaniment in my journey was a shadow, One great thing I did learn was to embrace some spiritual people locally. I went through a major incident this week. Something happened that has some implications if it transpires in the next few months. This did not help the above thought and emotional process at all, It in fact just added to it. I learned that piece of advice above from the female, so I will take her blessing of knowledge in my heart - gratitude.

I consulted a spiritual place I have been to recently, again. I did a heart meditation for the second time, communally with people that I needed energy and light from. It was great. I will embrace the friendship and the power of wisdom gained... and I love meeting like-minded people, particularly locally.

Yesterday I was drawn to the path of two new people online. A wonderful male from Norway. He is such a shining light. I will include one of his videos below as well. And the female in the video I will share. I will share my thoughts on how this triggered some new energy. Some new wisdom, a new light.

The female her name, as many of you no doubt are already well aware of her name and perhaps the "reputation" that seems to cast a shadow is Teal Swan. Or also known as Teal Scott.
I watched some of her videos, and it really threw some pleasing mind energy my way.
Not only in the visual aspect, being a typical man or male I must always try and remain focused when it comes to beauty! But she really drove some thoughts in my mind all morning yesterday.
I need not discuss anything about her so called "reputation", except to say the challenges you face in the past - and people seem to love casting their strong personal views out of fear onto others, in a sense to cast doubts or reinforce standards in life that should never be considered by an open mind.

I needed some answers this week.
This video by Teal pretty much is a general summary and reflection of all I need to say. Please consider sticking with it past the initial few minutes, you might be tempted to quit the video but hang in there, for those of you who need answers in life I am sure you might benefit.

And may I introduce a man by the name of Chris Lie, this person really also gave me light yesterday. I needed to embrace the wisdom from another male - I have been so drawn to so many females in the spiritual circles it feels remarkable to have a male to source light and knowledge from! Like my good friend Dr. Gillian Ross says the universe unfolds as it should, and I believe the people that you need are drawn into your life,
Enjoy his video and his light! And since you all know how much I love my music - the song that has been my driving spiritual theme song during my joyful time of opening my mind - Placebo - Hold Onto Me - stick around for the spoken word dialogue that Brian Molko expresses toward the end... unseen and unheard of in modern music! (just after the 3:15 ms mark)

and lastly to Teal, you are such a force of positive light it is almost unbearably powerful; beyond the concepts of what most allow to reinforce growth restraint. The limitations held by science, educational institutions dictatorial teachers of religion or spiritual bullies. The inadequacy of not accepting things are happening in this universe beyond the realms of what most choose to see. The manner in which you project your skills to try and shine your light is truly a gift of beauty and love.
Gratitude.