A Time of Conflict But Inner Peace; the Contradiction.

It has been an interesting long while - since my last Blog.
I have succinct reasoning to justify this absence of written expression. The main one being, I was reading Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, in my early knowledge quest to quench the thirst of insight... I did note that he said and wrote: "There are things that I, and other great people such as Louise L. Hay, will never speak of."

I made a video during some times of shift and turmoil, and it was intended for others. It was made after a short sharp burst of energy, that thankfully subsided as fast as it came.

I will include it at the bottom of this blog. Dr. Gillian Ross the main inspiration behind the video or the themes expressed, was pleased with it, however my ego show at the end and the music was not of her fancy. Very reasonable. 

The music and creative drive really came to the fore, I decided to pursue further music/audio and photography, visual media.,..

I am creating a new balance in my life, I sat making that video for hours, and much to my detriment. I have quite a special new video in the making. The creative process has been refined, rather than excess it just focuses on bit by bit - build the foundation, then the structure... and a building of I hope beauty... over time.

If I sit on my glutes all morning, I now experience cabin fever - I get this feeling that anxiety is trying to creep back onto my back. It has not been there, weighing on my shoulders for more than two years now. That monkey can stay off my back. I will allow him jungle time, he can play, but not on me.
He has plenty to occupy him I am certain. The jungle can be vibrant and alive.

My mind is a more meditative tranquil paradise, as opposed to a jungle these days.
I did an animal spirit guided meditation by Teal Swan this morning for the first time, the one by her rather. I recently did an animal spirit meditation by Gillian, deep Yoga Nidra style, but it was to get in the body of the animal the spirit... not to source your specific power animal.

My first great spiritual experience of unforgettable magnitude was when I was around 15 years old. I was leaning toward the esoteric world - largely driven by my goth sub-culture desire and other teenage yearning.

Poetry, Goth, and the contrast of Graffiti, and rebellion... the artist, the writer, the mind. The spirit.
The insecurity of fear, the weakness and vulnerability of youth.
The wanting or needing to feel a part of something greater, but always standing from the outside looking in, casting a mere shadow inside the wishful circle for fleeting moments.
The wanting to know and understand, what I was born to do. What made me happy - was it drugs, or the 100 miles an hour excess life? Was it spiritual?

That 15 year old was invited to a Shamanic journey, by his experienced older esoteric friends and acquaintances. We went up to this magical house, in the foothills of Mount Wellington, I believed the home was owned by one of the rich spiritually minded souls.

They started the ritual and ceremony, burned some Sage and did other Native instinctive tradition. It was commented the whole room started to get this intense energy. Some said the earth was moving and the room was shifting. This was before we even descended.

Back to first person, I was led down stairs, almost like my artwork in a slight sense, to the spirit world. My power animal made itself visible. To my shock and almost amusement - it was a Polar Bear.

I was thinking you are joking me right?
Like at that age I probably envisioned being in some commercial for Coca-Cola - after all at the time I drank that toxic crap - was the spirit world poking fun?

That soon got blasted away when one of the guides in the room, (speaking guidance) - asked us, or prompted us to question the animal before us.

Are You my Power Animal?

This was the question. (That was the question).

Imagine my total surprise, keep in mind a kid from an fairly ordinary upbringing of usual concepts and earthly restrictions... almost forced into church mainstream worship. The bear replied:

You Are Me.

Enough said.

I got to reunite with that animal thanks to Teal Swan this morning. It was an old friend.
We are no longer just friends... we decided to merge. We are as one, not apart.

In keeping with tradition I will include a great song by an Australian legend of spirit - Xavier Rudd. Please watch it until the end - some of the most visually spectacular imagery ever caught on video from Australia. And in-spirit. Inspirational.

Namaste.

The Art of Letting Go

This blog was inspired by a video I viewed last night by Giovanna Silvestre (ConfusedGirlLA). I have been blessed to have my path graced by her presence. Thankyou. I left a comment on her latest work Titled The Art Of Letting Go. I will include her video in this blog.

My comment revolved around how I was listening to Dr.Wayne W. Dyer only yesterday morning. I found an 8 disc edition of a work titled It's Never Crowded Along The Extra Mile (ten secrets for success and inner peace audio). 
He speaks of how he rarely gave endorsements, but when he heard a tape by Caroline Myss who was just starting on her journey, he was motivated to credit her. Her work was discussing Why People Don't Heal. 
Wayne's thoughts are that most people are too powerfully bonded to the wounds of their past.

I will use my crutches analogy, you can break a bone and recover - but why would you want to keep using the crutches long after the injury has gone?
Someone in my life did this, they actually wanted to keep using real crutches after the bone had mended because they felt comfort or some sense of safety in it.

Wayne says you can change anything in your life - In the now. Anything can be changed. One thing that cannot be changed is your history. Your past. He says about 80 percent of most people spend most mental energy on either trying to change or allowing the memory to upset them. It holds them back. It keeps them stuck and prevents future hope.

He mentions how you may meet someone, within about five minutes of talking to them, they tell you they are an alcoholic, or they were sexually abused. They had a Father who walked out on them. Or they lived in an orphanage, or came from a poor background. They suffer depression.
He explains this is all very well, they are not expected to shut this out and forget it or say it never happened. They are not expected to disregard it. But it is a calling card it keeps holding them back.

I am learning this myself, only recently I wrote about my history.
From what Wayne advises this is great, get it out and help other people with your story. But when you have moved on let it go. No need to discuss it constantly anymore.
So my blogs will not focus on some of my former past. I have moved on rapidly in recent times. I still found myself leaning ever slightly on those crutches. Now they have been returned to the hospital, in order for someone in true need to use them, in my mind.

This title of Giovanna's video made me think of my good friend Dr. Gillian Ross, she did the Relaxation or Meditation CD titled The Art Of Letting Go, which I discovered around six months ago. The benefits of Meditation in letting go are touched upon at the end of the video by Giovanna. If you would like to look into this CD, I must add, Giovanna was unaware of it - released by a wellbeing expert in Australia, but I urge anyone that needs some healing to look it up link:

https://shop.abc.net.au/products/gillian-ross-the-art-of-letting-go-cd

I will also include a song that touched me powerfully the other morning, it is my new theme song for personal development and I had never absorbed the lyrics before, It applies in every essence to this post. Please let me know if the video gets taken down, it is made by a fan and uses footage from movies if so I will edit and add another clip.
The song by Cat Power, aka Chan Marshall, is powerful because she has dealt with alcohol and prescription drug addiction. It nearly destroyed her and her entire career. There are some infamous stories of public on-stage meltdowns. She was crippled by demons and anxiety and has found a way to move on now. Her song was written during the time, I do not believe she was over this, but what you do reflects in what you create. I think her song represented what she hoped for. What was possible, but the title makes me think again of how people reject it. Maybe Not. I can change or I can dream of a better life - Maybe not?
You need to learn to change your mindset.