It is almost Christmas I thought it would be a great chance to reflect on the past twelve months and what I have learned and grown from. In fact I will share my most powerful realisation.
I have done some rapid progress made some changes improved myself, my mind, my body. My skills and my ability, also talent. While this is all good a part of me grew unnoticed. It was noticed by others but I failed to see it, or perhaps I was too drawn up in my own excitement and pride to consider it. It became a fatal flaw that can turn something nice into something ugly.
It was ego or the fact I became so self absorbed and obsessed with what I had done I lost all focus on what is essential in life and relationships: Remain humble. Listen. Speak less.
I drove some good friends away. It took a remarkable one during a phonecall today to hit me clean in the face with sledgehammer strength. I adore her for this. I used to take any criticism once upon an unenlightened time as a personal attack, and react with the defence mechanism to replace the feeling of - should I consider what this person says or does it hold any truth? Should I stand in their shoes and consider the point of view, or just dismiss it as a basic attack on me?
You gain much strength from change and when you gain self-confidence and pride you need to always keep the ego at bay. The ego only considers you. If I called someone I did not even ask much about how they felt - what was their day like? What was happening in their lives all the things you must do to engage a vibrant healthy conversation.
Rather than inspire someone if you bombard them with how well you are doing, and how great life is, how much you have done the last year - rather than feel admiration it can turn to disdain, and they will want to end the conversation rather than continue it.
In a good person is a true LISTENER
Some people might tell you all their problems, but rather than wanting you to solve them, in many cases all they want is to have your full attention, and for you to offer the gift of listening.
If you can offer suggestions at the right times when needed and if the solutions are positive and you believe they can help the other person - talk.
Until then or if it is not needed Do Not. Rather - Listen.
And learn to dismiss the judge in you - we are all different everyone is unique and everyone has a story and a reason for doing what they do and doing things they do... the sooner you can let go of trying to judge why or putting certain people into any form of confining category the better.
I always was aware of certain elements of the Ego but I thought visually, like the guy at the gym staring in the mirror doing dumbbell curls hoping or assuming the fitness females in the area actually enjoyed this - THIS IS ALWAYS UGLY - but I did not even consider ego is much deeper.
I thought ego was the personal trainer who is ripped and he knows it. And assumes he can have any female he desires. THAT IS ALSO UGLY.
But basic ego is deeper and much more complex.
You control what you think and what you draw into your life.
How you interact with people is critical.
If you exude confidence and charm most people are appreciative but if this is soured with an attitude or a lack of character - the bad starts to over compensate the good.
You can be charming and attractive perhaps cute or super sexy but this means NOTHING IN THE GRAND SCHEME. If you lack true HEART AND COMPASSION AND CHARACTER... if you cannot make people relate to you and you always project your image onto them without considering yourself - think of it this way - the ugly factor or the things you hate in others - is what you hate most in yourself so you must become the best person possible, and learn to love yourself but remain humble and true to life, and then life and the universe will guide the energy you project.
You can change life at any moment if you are unhappy and think this is not possible you are mistaken. But if you embrace change make it the best possible change and become the best possible soul on this earth you can be.
Shine a light so bright and vivid that it reflects in the smiles of others.
Express gratitude for every day and every moment.
Use any challenge as the mindset of - how can I use this problem as a solution?
Instead of thinking of the past or dreading the future - focus on THE NOW.
Consider meditation and do everything to help nourish and give life to your body and mind.
read and learn and move and grow.
Too many people are stagnant, stuck in a part of the sad reality of - nothing can change. Everything is hopeless. I can never beat any problem. Things are too big. Life is too hard. I will never become someone, I will never experience true happiness... I can never reach any level of success.
And my anxiety controls me. The past defines me. What happened yesterday will continue to cast a shadow on tomorrow. I can never get that "thicker skin", I will always allow others to offend me, and I will be controlled by my emotions, they will use me until I am so crippled with my fears my body will fail and my mind as well.
I will always care about what anyone thinks and says about me. I will take any criticism whatsoever as a direct attack on me and possibly even stew on it for days weeks or months.
I am here to tell you ANYONE ON THIS PLANET - does NOT have to be confined by ANY OF THE ABOVE.
anyway, Merry Christmas and may 2015 be a year of growth and personal development for anyone that seeks to pursue it
because many will and many do and the universe wants it!
Lastly to any of you who took the time to read my thoughts one word:
GRATITUDE.
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