He was fragmented, unhappy, lacked desire and heart, was trapped by a prison of self doubt loathing and dictated to; every minute of every day, by the fear of anxiety and consumed by worrying and negative thought patterns.
Just what on earth changed you may ask?
What could possibly turn a man at 37 years of age who was capable of getting upset by a negative remark from a stranger, into stewing on it emotionally, or who tortured himself for many years by allowing a particularly nasty neighbour to control his life by dominating the weakness factor? (So much so he took her to court and applied for a Restraint order.)
If I recall this time last year, I just mentioned that fact because I was terrified of that person and the amount of stress and anxiety I allowed the situation to inflict on me physically as much as mentally.
Back to the old me he was vomiting and killing himself by obsessing about that person and what she was doing to him and to everyone around him. It was taking such a bad toll.
If there was a measurement for Cortisol levels during the past few years, with the amount of police call outs from all the neighbours on his block, that cortisol level reading would have blown the scales.
He was also controlled by the worrying factor. He laughs when he can think back many years ago, being directly told by two special people He needed to stop worrying!!!
Why on earth would he now laugh of this in retrospect?
Because at the time he was in denial. He strongly argued to the people who suggested this, that the mere suggestion was false and that he did not worry. He had no issues in his mind.
He did learn and grow to know a week or a month later they indeed had valid points, but it took those people to tell him to ask himself deep inside - what makes him the person he is?
who does he want to be? Is he truly happy? is life all it can be?
I want to keep this short so I will explain the turn-around briefly and in short.
The things that lead to his turn around essentially came from one decision.
It was the decision to adopt a new way of thinking or rather a concept he had not considered:
CHANGE.
The eventual end result of the person typing this came from wanting to change, sticking to it through thick and thin - through dedication, discipline, and loving every second of the journey.
The person you read this from now is most happy to inform you he has the warrior proofed mind and body that he never thought in his wildest dreams he would ever be possible of attaining or manifesting.
He no longer cares what others think of him, that neighbour is still right next door but he gained the strength to dismiss her attacks - and learned what makes a person or mind behave like hers.
He is so happy some days he feels he is on cloud nine. The anxiety was cured 100 percent he has not endured any symptoms or an episode since the end of winter early spring 2013.
The medication for reflux and heartburn ceased and the vomiting no longer an issue. The meds for the anxiety no longer prescribed and he has a life he always dreamed of. He went from sick and unhealthy and obese by BMI standards to super fit and strong and he cured himself of all health issues including high cholesterol and liver function issues, astigmatism was reversed in his vision and he now plans to give back to others what this change gave back to him.
It is great to understand yourself first, then to read and learn about the inner workings of the mind, in order to gain an understanding of what makes other people behave the way they do.
Improve the body the mind follows.
This picture is a striking face comparison of the time I was feeding my body toxic foods and feelings and only a few months later the difference when I started to love it and myself instead.
I speak of him in the first, second and third person in this for the reason being, I am now in little doubt I am in charge of my future and destiny and to illustrate the fact I am in charge of my life. He was not. That person was not, he was lost and confused.
Goodbye old me!
If you want to enjoy my journey or even if want to allow my healing to help you - follow or promote this and or the mission I am now on - Not for profit. I help others because I care. I am not driven by any goal of making money from this, I do not sell or offer anything but messages of hope and inspiration. (Although personally locally I am seeking work in a gym this year to apply the skills I feel I am strongest at.) I love the feeling of what being positive to others does in return and I love gratitude I want to live each day as if it were the last and inspire some people along the way if I can.
Namaste, love and light -
Colin.
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